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Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How...
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?”...
Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time...
Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn’t have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. “I...
A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to...
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.” Feeling the heat from the...
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of middle school girls were beginning to use...
A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a...
A woman says to her husband that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her fronts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery...
A secretary walked into her boss’s office & said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me...
The flight was coming into Dallas when a combination of mechanical errors and unstable weather caused the plane to start plummeting to the ground! The pilot...
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance...
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” he wrote, “No.” The next question, intended...
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. The...
A Polish student was in his the college campus bookstore. Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, “This...
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I...
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining...
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. “I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous.” “My Billy...
“The car won’t start,” aid a wife to her husband. “I think there’s water in the carburettor.” “How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. “You...
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one...
