Wife: Okay, today’s Friday. Where’s your pay envelope? Husband: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house. Wife: What? What could you...
Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini,...
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, “Jesus is watching you!” while he rumagged through the desk. He replied, “Who...
A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two...
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to...
A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the...
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. “Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?”...
A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims....
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, “I’ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond....
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced “a typical Texas baby” weighing twenty...
It’s Halloween and everyone’s out trick-or-treating. A bartender is working the late-night shift at the bar. He looks outside and sees everyone in crazy costumes. He...
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. “How was work, dear?” his wife asks. “Listen! I don’t want to...
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on...
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and...
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep....
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same lovely negligee she had worn on...
Claire was becoming frustrated with her husband’s insistence that they always have making love in the dark. Hoping to rid him of his inhibitions, during a...
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience....
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in...
An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling. “I’ve got an eighteen-year old bride who’s pregnant with...